The Unrecognised Value
Another day at the hospital with my child, who has a medical condition, ended with an admission to the paediatric ward. I’m a fan of scents and love having pleasant smells in my space, even if that space is a hospital cubicle. We were fortunate enough to have our own room, and I had my perfume with me, so I sprayed some in the air.
Later, some staff began to comment on the beautiful smell in our room every time they came in to perform a procedure or to check up on us. One particular nurse couldn’t hide how much she loved the scent. In that moment, I reached for my perfume bottle and showed it to her. I told her how I had swiped it from my daughter, who had received it as a gift from a loved on but never used it. Out of curiosity, I later searched for the name of the perfume online and was shocked! My seemingly ordinary 50 ml perfume, which I had been happily spraying and dispersing within a paediatric ward, was worth £120! And I was completely oblivious. Had I known earlier, I might have used an air freshener from the pound shop that would have done the job just as well.
This incident led me to reflect on the great deal of invaluable resources we possess as individuals while being unaware of them, whether it’s a skill, a trait or a great quality.
Moreover, the concept of self-worth clicked in my head. How much value do we grant ourselves? What decides our worth in the first place?
When you train as a psychotherapist and learn about the Rogerian philosophy about self-concept, you start to understand how individuals perceive their own value. Carl Rogers, the founder of this approach, emphasizes the importance of self-worth, self-image, and the ideal self. According to Rogers, our self-concept is built from our experiences and the feedback we receive from others. It shapes how we see ourselves and how we believe others perceive us. The congruence and even incongruence of our self-image with our ideal self (who we want to be) significantly impacts our mental well-being.
In my practice, I often encounter patients who undervalue themselves, just like I undervalued that perfume. They carry around incredible strengths and virtues yet remain unaware of their worth. And just like my perfume, sometimes we need a little reflection to realise the worth of what we hold. It’s a reminder that our real value is often greater than we perceive, and recognising this can make all the difference in how we live our lives.
What do you is a decider for our worth? How much value do we grant ourselves? Try to reflect, is there a time you recognise that you may have undervalued yourself and could you have perceived this and reframed it in a different way?
